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There once was a fellow from France
Who did a ridiculous dance;
It's not what you're thinking
He hadn't been drinking
His shoes were infested with ants.

(Written Sept 2012)

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There once was a man from Hong Kong
Who spoke in a very strange tongue;
He was no use at all
'Til he spat out the ball
That he'd swallowed while playing Ping-Pong.

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I was riding my horse one day
When he suddenly stopped in the Way
Along came a car
My horse went far
Really far, far away

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A professor named Timothy Lear
had no liking for whiskey or beer.
He kept up full employment
to finance his enjoyment.
As his stuff -LSD- was quite dear.

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Edward Lear

There was an Old Man who said, 'Hush!
I perceive a young bird in this bush!'
When they said, 'Is it small?'
He replied, 'Not at all!
It is four times as big as the bush!'

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There once was a guy named Ben,
Who asked me money for a lend,
And so I told him
I could trust him as far as I could throw him,
And so he never spoke to me again.

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Constance was a very beautiful girl
You can say that she was my shining pearl
When we went to bed
She gave me great he**
It was so good it would make my toes curl

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There was a sleepy head, you see
She was as sleepy as could be
When at night she didn’t rest,
Daytime put her to the test.
And, oh, that sleepy head was me.

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Edward Lear

There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
Who suddenly married a Quaker;
But she cried out, 'Alack!
I have married a black!'
Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica

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A young deep-sea diver named Dave
Was thought by his boss to be brave;
But - to avert the dread 'bends'
He'd send down his friends
Not for him was a lone early grave.

(Written Oct 2012)

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