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There was a young lad from Hong Kong
who stood up all day singing songs
the ants in his pants
made him wriggle and prance
so he just couldn't sit for too long.

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Edward Lear

There was an Old Man at a casement,
Who held up his hands in amazement;
When they said, 'Sir, you'll fall!'
He replied, 'Not at all!'
That incipient Old Man at a casement.

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There once was a chap from Calcutta
Who had, on the horses, a flutter;
But electronic bookies
Kept sending out cookies
Which caused him, with cuses, to mutter.

(Written Oct 2012)

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Edward Lear

There was an Old Person of Ewell,
Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
But to make it more nice
He inserted some mice,
Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.

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Edward Lear

There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent bull;
But she seized on a spade,
And called out, 'Who's afraid?'
Which distracted that virulent bull.

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There was a young sculptor from Thanet
Who's favourite medium was granite;
But everyone booed
At his statue, so rude
That the censors decided to ban it.

(Written Oct 2012)

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A hospital patient from Leicester
Said, 'look, I do not want to pester,
But Doctor, I need
For this thing not to bleed
And it's nearly filled up my sou'wester.

(Written Oct 2012)

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A veggie named Atreya Sarma
Was called to a party of derma
He wouldn’t have any meat
“How’d you enjoy the treat? ”
“With pure milk that will be much warmer? ”

[Oct 05,2009: : Greenfield, WI]

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Jack knitted a new pair of socks
In the deep red colour of hollyhocks
His friends formed a queue
They wanted some too
But Jack fell ill with chickenpox.

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Edward Lear

There once was a lady of Guam
Who said, "Now the sea is so calm,
I'll swim out, for a lark."
But she met a large shark.
Let us now sing the Ninetieth Psalm!

limerick by from A Book of Nonsense (1846)Report problemRelated quotes
Added by Dan Costinaş
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