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Salman Rushdie

The marriage of poor Kim Kardashian
Was krushed like a kar in a krashian.
Her Kris kried, "Not fair!
Why kan't I keep my share?"
But Kardashian fell klean outa fashian.

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If for an ale I yearn
think to watch your drink and don't turn
or with your beer I'll abscond
and it'll soon be beyond
the pint of no return!

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Believe it or not in Pakistan
when a woman marries a man
the woman pays a fee
of a million rupees
so I'll be moving there soon as I can

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There once was a fellow from Spain
Who walked round the town in the rain;
His brolly then bust
In the rain and the gust,
Who said it falls mainly on the plain?

(Written Nov 2012)

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There was an old banker from Kent,
Who wanted back money he'd lent,
So he sent lots of letters
To all of his debtors
But found out that it was all spent.

(Written Feb 1995)

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A poor, but bright, pilot named Chet
Designed a brand new type of jet;
But after it was made
The bill was not paid
Which left him in serious debt.

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“But for films, ” said the upstart actor,
“I’d have, surely, become a doctor.”
Watching the interview
“Your marks hardly a few
For the boast” gibed her truthful proctor.

[Sep 30,2009: : Greenfield, WI]

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There once was a dentist from Pilling,
Supposedly not a 'full shilling, '
But he'd drill your tooth out
And if none was about
He would craftily swipe your gold filling.

(Written Feb 1995)

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There once was a cad from Dumfries
Accused of stealing some geese,
He was in a tight spot
But he cared not a jot
As he turned round and blamed his poor niece.

(Written Sept 2012)

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There was an old man in his eighties
Who desired to love younger ladies.
He puffed and he panted,
Yet they were enchanted
'Cause they had his wallet as he headed for Hades.

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