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Edward Lear

There was an Old Person in Black,
A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
When it chirped in his ear,
He was smitten with fear,
That helpless Old Person in Black.

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A cinema-goer from Preston
Who loved a good drama, or western,
Sat glued to his chair
But would curse and would swear
If ejected, for having no vest on.

(Written Oct 2012)

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There was an old man in his eighties
Who desired to love younger ladies.
He puffed and he panted,
Yet they were enchanted
'Cause they had his wallet as he headed for Hades.

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Jack knitted a new pair of socks
In the deep red colour of hollyhocks
His friends formed a queue
They wanted some too
But Jack fell ill with chickenpox.

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There once was a poet named Seale
With writes of far reaching appeal
He wrote through the night
Where his poems took flight
And when they were done he'd reveal

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There once was a gay caballero,
Who had all his pants made of cuero.
But they shrunk in the rain,
A source of great pain,
And he'd scream out his pain oooh, aah, oh.

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Edward Lear

There was an Old Person of Chili,
Whose conduct was painful and silly,
He sate on the stairs,
Eating apples and pears,
That imprudent Old Person of Chili.

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An exquisite limerick must have a twist -
something to pop when least
you expect it
like a bit of wit -
or even at times a disproportionately long, unrhymed and out of meter last line.

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There once was a fellow from Wales
Who bred a new breed of strange quails;
But his plans went awry
As the birds couldn't fly
And what's more, they grew up with no tails.

(Written Oct 2012)

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There once was a lady named Kathy,
Who loved eating sweet sticky taffy.
Yes, she loved it so much,
That she used all her bucks,
To buy her own taffy factory.

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