There once was a really weird chick,
Who traveled by pogo stick.
She tried to disgage,
Fell onto a page
And now she's part of a limerick.
There was an Old Man of Vienna,
Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
When that did not agree,
He took Camomile Tea,
That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
There was an old banker from Kent,
Who wanted back money he'd lent,
So he sent lots of letters
To all of his debtors
But found out that it was all spent.
(Written Feb 1995)
There was an Old Person of Anerley,
Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
He rushed down the Strand
With a pig in each hand,
But returned in the evening to Anerley.
When the Duke, also called Mussolini
saw a maiden in purple bikini
he went into the street
said 'so happy to meet,
let us make, you and me, some bambini.'
The day Santa played with his yo-yo
He found that it gave him more go-go
He laughed with loud whoops
At his great loop-de-loops
And tried not to hee-hee but ho-ho.
There was an old man from Argyll
Who declared he would nevermore smile;
His reasons were simple:
A limp and a pimple,
Arthritis, gumboils and a pile.
There was an old person of Paxo
Which complained when the fleas bit his back so,
But they gave him a chair
And impelled him to swear,
Which relieved that old person of Paxo.
There was an Old Person of Bangor,
Whose face was distorted with anger!
He tore off his boots,
And subsisted on roots,
That irascible Person of Bangor.
There was an old man of the Cape
Who made himself garments of crepe.
When asked, "Do they tear?"
He replied, "Here and there,
But they're perfectly splendid for shape!"