Random limericks
There was a young lady called Mandy,
Who used to drink barrels of shandy,
She was so full of gas
That they piped her at last
To the mains and then said: 'now that's handy.'
limerick by John Carter Brown (February 1995)
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There was an Old Man of New York,
Who murdered himself with a fork;
But nobody cried
Though he very soon died, --
For that silly old man of New York.
limerick by Edward Lear
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There was this fellow from Rabat
who thought himself a rabbit
it took quite a while -
but he got convinced alright
that only in Jamaica can rabbit become Rabat.
limerick by Otido Omukuba
Added by Dan Costinaş
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There was a girl who had a fancy
that she looked somewhat like Beyoncy
she bought a mirror long -
and deduced she was wrong-
for she looked a lot more like Drew Nancy.
limerick by Otido Omukuba
Added by Dan Costinaş
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There was a young man from Luton
stealing suits from Aquascutum
but none of them fit
for his belly was big
and Marquees are all that would suit him
limerick by Ruth Walters
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Konrad Roentgen invented the rays
that could see all the body's weird ways.
When he looked at his spouse
through her wide-open blouse
he was sure that curiosity pays.
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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I think I am showing restraint
With the helpline I told my complaint,
For they view, with compunction,
Every software malfunction
As pieces of cake, which they ain’t.
limerick by C. Richard Miles
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There was an Old Man of the Nile,
Who sharpened his nails with a file,
Till he cut out his thumbs,
And said calmly, 'This comes
Of sharpening one's nails with a file!'
limerick by Edward Lear
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There was an Old Man who said, 'Well!
Will nobody answer this bell?
I have pulled day and night,
Till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!'
limerick by Edward Lear
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There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,
So blind that he couldn't his foot see;
When they said, 'That's your toe,'
He replied, 'Is it so?'
That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.
limerick by Edward Lear
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