Long ago in the dark days of shivery
Was born a King thanks to midwivery
Two brains in one head
Least, that's what they said
And nowhere to hide his ambivery.
There was an Old Man of Madras,
Who rode on a cream-coloured ass;
But the length of its ears,
So promoted his fears,
That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
At the sound of each sweep
She enraptured the deep,
And enchanted the city of Tyre.
There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sat on a chair,
With his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
There was an Old Person of Mold,
Who shrank from sensations of cold,
So he purchased some muffs,
Some furs and some fluffs,
And wrapped himself from the cold.
There once was a lady of Guam
Who said, "Now the sea is so calm,
I'll swim out, for a lark."
But she met a large shark.
Let us now sing the Ninetieth Psalm!
There was a girl who’d found a dime,
And thus the bells began to chime.
She brought herself some candy,
And thought that it was dandy.
She thought it was sublime.
There was an Old Person whose habits,
Induced him to feed upon rabbits;
When he'd eaten eighteen,
He turned perfectly green,
Upon which he relinquished those habits.
There once was a man from Quebec
Who's chickens had no need to peck;
A lady named Betty
Hand fed them spaghetti
As they lay on their backs on the deck.
There was an Old Person of Wick,
Who said, 'Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
And he said nothing more,
That laconic Old Person of Wick