There once was a sage playwright from Stratford,
Whose witty meanings I couldn't afford.
I popped in New Place maison,
Right upon River Avon,
And scrubbed all of his texts on my washboard.
He keeps his beef between the two buns,
Away from the hungry eyes of nuns,
Hamburger is his pride,
He's fully satisfied,
His blood is thick, but his heart still runs.
They married for love, that is sure,
Who can get for true love, a cure?
Sent down the same road,
a human, a toad
Together, a lifetime endure.
I Love You too
When years ago I told her, I love you,
I remember seeing green, black, and blue,
In my stomach butterflies,
When I looked into her eyes
I fainted when she said; I love you too.
There once was a turkey named Chummy,
Mom thought that he might be quite yummy.
He waddled away
On Thanksgiving Day -
But still ended up in my tummy!
There once was a clover named Kate,
Who sat on the edge of a plate,
The fancy folk dined,
On foods of all kind,
Then tossed her at quarter past eight.
The marriage of poor Kim Kardashian
Was krushed like a kar in a krashian.
Her Kris kried, "Not fair!
Why kan't I keep my share?"
But Kardashian fell klean outa fashian.
For she had a tongue with a tang,
Would cry to a sailor, "Go hang!"
She loved not the savor of tar nor of pitch,
Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch.
Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!
A young man who liked to rock boats
In order to get people's goats
Gave just one more rock
Then suffered a shock
A bubble the spot now denotes.
There was a young boy from Lough Ree,
Who wanted to travel the sea.
So he built a small boat,
And set it afloat,
But forgot to get in it, you see!